Dating someone in alcoholics anonymous

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The way I see it is that you can't stop living life. I know this is only my opinion but I feel pretty strongly about it.

I didn't drink and it made me stronger and more confident in the end, but it was the first time I dealt with some of those emotions sober in 20 years and it was a little hard to handle at first. Like many things in AA, the admonition not to date or make major changes in the first year is based on something that makes sense: the idea that in early recovery folks are still whirling around and need to take some time for themselves to regroup. Also, marriages, existing committed relationships, and children can't just be shelved for a more convenient time.

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But it does ignore the fact that life still happens, and can't be ignored on the basis that one is in one's first year of recovery. At the same time, though, I think that getting into a NEW relationship is probably not the best idea in the first year or so after one quits an addiction...even longer.

In fact, as someone who quit drinking a long time ago, my own "rule" when dating was not to date a formerly addicted person unless that person had been comfortably abstinent for at least five years.

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